幽默的翻譯
發(fā)布時間:2017-01-18 來源: 幽默笑話 點擊： 
幽默的翻譯篇一：簡單幽默英語小故事及翻譯
1
I Don?t Like Her
Bob goes to a new school.
One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks. “I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”
我不喜歡她
鮑勃的去了所新學校。
一天，他回到家，他媽媽問他：“你喜歡你的新老師嗎？”
“不，我不喜歡她，媽媽。因為她先說3加3等于6，然后她又說2加4等于6.”
2
Ten Candies
Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”
“Ten.” Jim says.
“Ten？” Mother asks.
Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”
十塊糖
媽媽問兒子：“吉姆， 如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？” “10塊。”吉姆說。
“10塊？”媽媽問。
“是的，媽媽。因為4塊在我的肚子里面，6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對嗎？”
3
Where is the egg?
Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?
Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.
Teacher: Then where is the “egg"?
Student: In the cake, sir.
雞蛋在哪里？
老師：你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？
學生：可以。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。
老師：“雞蛋”在哪？
學生：在蛋糕里，先生
4
Count Tomorrow Morning
It?s a night. John is looking at the sky.
Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”
John says, “I?m counting stars.”
Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”
明天早上數
一個晚上, 約翰抬頭看著天空。
湯姆是約翰的弟弟。他問約翰：“你在干什么？”
約翰說：“我在數星星�！�
湯姆笑著說：“現在天空太黑了。你為什么不等到明天早上再數呢？” 5
It Must Be Crowded
A teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions of people can live there.”
And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it?s a crescent moon.” 一定很擁擠
一位老師告訴學生們：“月亮非常大，上面能住幾百萬人�！�
一個男孩笑著說：“當月亮變成月牙的時候，住在上面的人該多擁擠啊！ 6
Are Flies Yummy?
Tony and his father are eating dinner.
Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”
Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it?s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It?s a silly question.”
But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”
蒼蠅好吃嗎？
托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。
突然，托尼問他的爸爸：“爸爸，蒼蠅好吃嗎？”
爸爸皺眉說：“我想不好吃。你怎么會問這個問題？這可是一個愚蠢的問題�！� 可是托尼說：“剛才你盤子里有一只蒼蠅�！�
7
“I'm sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty dollars! Why , you charged only four dollars for such work before!” “Yes，but your boy yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元！為什么？你之前只收4美元的！”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了�！�
8
A Good Boy
Little Robert asks his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answers.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個可憐的老太太，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢�？赡銥槭裁磳δ俏焕咸敲锤信d趣呢？”
“她是個賣糖果的�！�
9
I Made Granny Glad
A teacher is telling her students the importance of making others glad. “Now, children,” she
says “Did you make someone else glad?”
“Please, teacher,” says a small boy, “I made someone glad yesterday.”
“Well done. Who was that?” The teacher says.
“My granny.” The boy says.
“Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.” The teacher says. “I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her, ?Granny,
I?m going home.? And she said, “well. I?m glad!”
我讓奶奶高興了
一位教師正在對學生將使人高興的重要性�！奥犞⒆觽�，”他說：“你們曾讓別人
高興過嗎？”
“我，老師，”一個男孩子說，“昨天我就使別人高興過�！�
“做得好。是誰呢？”老師說。
“我奶奶�！毙∧泻⒄f。
“好孩子�，F在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的？”老師問道。
幽默的翻譯篇二：英語幽默笑話帶翻譯
英語幽默笑話帶翻譯
1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 醫(yī)生懂得多
一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫(yī)院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫(yī)生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫(yī)生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫(yī)生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫(yī)生比你懂得多."
2:You can't go without me
The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
沒有我你們走不了
公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.
"喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.
"車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.
"但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.
3:Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”
4:Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。 5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.
When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white
people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?
親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當你出生時，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時，你是青色的。你害怕時，你是黃色的。你生病時，你是綠色的。當你死時，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？
6：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。
那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”
哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
7：How Many Rabbits?
Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan:Nine, sir.
Teacher: Nine?
Jonathan:I've got one already, sir.
多少只兔子？
老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？
喬納森：一共有九只，先生。
老師：九只？
喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。
8：These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about
herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．
“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”
那是我的褲子!
一個婦女在減肥一段時間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了�！彼煞蚩戳怂靡粫䞍海缓笳f：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子�！�
9：The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝嗇鬼請客
一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開�！�
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。
10：All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife
is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"
"I'm the people. All I do is pay."
我要做的一切就是付錢
布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子
是財政部長。我岳母是作戰(zhàn)部長，我女兒是外交秘書�！�
“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什么呢？”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢�！�
1. What room has no walls, no doors, no windows, and no floors?
A mushroom.(蘑菇)
2. What is smaller than an insect's mouth?
Anything it eats.
3. What large instrument do you carry in your ears?
Drums, that is eardrums.(鼓膜)
4. What's too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?
A secret.
5. What person tried to make you smile most of the time?
A photographer.
6. What animal has a head like a cat, eyes like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn't a cat?
A kitten.(小貓)
7. What surprising things happen every 24 hours?
Day breaks, but doesn't fall; night falls, but doesn't break.
8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth?An echo.(回聲)
9. What do you know about the kings of France?
They are all dead.
10. What question can you never answer 'yes" to"
Are you asleep?
11. Why do some old people never use glasses?
They must prefer bottles to glasses.
12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?
Because the instructions on the paint can say "Put on two coats for best results."
幽默的翻譯篇三：看笑話學英語笑話大全爆笑翻譯
1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一個城市里的游客來到一個小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開著車，想看看農莊是什么樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城里人看見一位農夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城里人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫 回答說，"時間對豬有什么意義?"
2.The Looney Bin
Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"
瘋人院
一天晚上，在瘋人院里，一個病人說：“我是拿破侖！”另一個說：“你怎么知道？”第一個人說：“上帝對我說的！”一會兒，一個聲音從另一個房間傳來：“我沒說！”
Notes:
（1）Looney (俚語）瘋子
（2）inmate （n.同住者, 同室者(特指在醫(yī)院、監(jiān)獄)）
（3）insane asylum (瘋人院）
3.Boxing and Running
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."
Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
拳擊和賽跑
丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏�！�
朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎么辦？”
丹：“我也會教他怎么樣賽跑呢�！�
NOTE
come up against 遇到一個對手 against表示相對的相反的
4.The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.
So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"
George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"
典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因為每逢周末的探訪日，大多數囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。
因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你�！彼麧M懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎？”
喬治回答：“喔！當然有，典獄長，只不過他們全都在這里面！”
5.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人搶你的手表時，你為什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發(fā)現我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。
6.A shoplifter（商店扒手）51kxh.cn |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook（騙子，壞蛋） looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."
一個小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一只手表的時候被當場擒獲�！奥犞毙⊥嫡f，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這只表買下，然后我們就當什么也沒發(fā)生，你看怎樣？”
經理表示同意，然后列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說道：“這比我最初的預算稍稍高了一點，你們還有沒有便宜一點兒東西。"
7.The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by asentry（哨兵） . When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams（縫合線） . [來自我要看笑話51kxh.cn]
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender（酒保） .
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