幽默英文怎么說篇一：看笑話學(xué)英語笑話大全爆笑翻譯

1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一個(gè)城市里的游客來到一個(gè)小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開著車，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城里人看見一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城里人對農(nóng)夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫 回答說，"時(shí)間對豬有什么意義?"

2.The Looney Bin

Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋?cè)嗽海﹐ne inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

瘋?cè)嗽?/p>

一天晚上，在瘋?cè)嗽豪铮�一個(gè)病人說：“我是拿破侖！”另一個(gè)說：“你怎么知道？”第一個(gè)人說：“上帝對我說的！”一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)聲音從另一個(gè)房間傳來：“我沒說！”

Notes:

（1）Looney (俚語）瘋子

（2）inmate （n.同住者, 同室者(特指在醫(yī)院、監(jiān)獄)）

（3）insane asylum (瘋?cè)嗽海?/p>

3.Boxing and Running

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."

Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

拳擊和賽跑

丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個(gè)粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏。”

朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個(gè)比他高大，健壯而且也會(huì)拳擊的人怎么辦？”

丹：“我也會(huì)教他怎么樣賽跑呢�！�

NOTE

come up against 遇到一個(gè)對手 against表示相對的相反的

4.The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因?yàn)槊糠曛苣┑奶皆L日，大多數(shù)囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一個(gè)探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎？”

喬治回答：“喔！當(dāng)然有，典獄長，只不過他們?nèi)�都在這里面！”

5.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

6.A shoplifter（商店扒手）51kxh.cn |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook（騙子，壞蛋） looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

一個(gè)小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一只手表的時(shí)候被當(dāng)場擒獲�！奥犞�，”小偷說，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這只表買下，然后我們就當(dāng)什么也沒發(fā)生，你看怎樣？”

經(jīng)理表示同意，然后列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說道：“這比我最初的預(yù)算稍稍高了一點(diǎn)，你們還有沒有便宜一點(diǎn)兒東西。"

7.The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by asentry（哨兵） . When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams（縫合線） . [來自我要看笑話51kxh.cn]

"What's in here?" he asked.

"Dirt," the driver replied.

"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender（酒保） .

幽默英文怎么說篇二：英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 醫(yī)生懂得多

一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫(yī)生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫(yī)生說:"我怕他已經(jīng)死了."聽到醫(yī)生的話,這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫(yī)生比你懂得多."

2:You can't go without me

The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

沒有我你們走不了

公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.

"喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.

"車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.

"但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機(jī)!"那位男士說道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察。如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了�！� “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀！”

4:Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時(shí)，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會(huì)兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生�！蹦切∧泻⒄f。 5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.

When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white

people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?

親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當(dāng)我出生時(shí)，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時(shí)，我是黑色的我害怕時(shí)，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當(dāng)我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當(dāng)你出生時(shí)，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時(shí)，你是青色的。你害怕時(shí)，你是黃色的。你生病時(shí)，你是綠色的。當(dāng)你死時(shí)，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？

6：Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。

那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”

哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄�！�

7：How Many Rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan:Nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan:I've got one already, sir.

多少只兔子？

老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

喬納森：一共有九只，先生。

老師：九只？

喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。

8：These Are My Jeans

After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about

herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．

“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”

Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”

那是我的褲子!

一個(gè)婦女在減肥一段時(shí)間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當(dāng)她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時(shí)。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了�！彼�丈夫看了她好一會(huì)兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子。”

9：The mean man's party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝嗇鬼請客

一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開�！�

“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”

“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會(huì)空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。

10：All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife

is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"

"I'm the people. All I do is pay."

我要做的一切就是付錢

布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個(gè)國家一樣。我妻子

是財(cái)政部長。我岳母是作戰(zhàn)部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”

“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務(wù)是什么呢？”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢�！�

1. What room has no walls, no doors, no windows, and no floors?

A mushroom.(蘑菇)

2. What is smaller than an insect's mouth?

Anything it eats.

3. What large instrument do you carry in your ears?

Drums, that is eardrums.(鼓膜)

4. What's too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?

A secret.

5. What person tried to make you smile most of the time?

A photographer.

6. What animal has a head like a cat, eyes like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn't a cat?

A kitten.(小貓)

7. What surprising things happen every 24 hours?

Day breaks, but doesn't fall; night falls, but doesn't break.

8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth?An echo.(回聲)

9. What do you know about the kings of France?

They are all dead.

10. What question can you never answer 'yes" to"

Are you asleep?

11. Why do some old people never use glasses?

They must prefer bottles to glasses.

12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?

Because the instructions on the paint can say "Put on two coats for best results."

幽默英文怎么說篇三：爆笑英語翻譯

1.we two who and who？

咱倆誰跟誰阿

2.how are you ? how old are you?

怎么是你 怎么老是你

3.you dont bird me,I dont bird you

你不 鳥我，我也不 鳥你

4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers ！ together up ！

你有種，我要給你點(diǎn)顏色瞧瞧，兄弟們，一起上！

5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!!

有事起奏，無事退朝

6.you me you me

彼此彼此

7.You Give Me Stop!!

你給我站住

8.know is know no know is no know

知之為知之， 不知為不 知...

9.WATCH SISTER

表妹

10.dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse son can make hole!!

龍生龍，鳳生鳳，老鼠的兒子大地洞

11．American Chinese not enough

美中不足

12.one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die

車禍現(xiàn)場描述

13.heart flower angry open

心花怒放

14.go past no mistake past

走過路過不要錯(cuò)過

15. You ask me,I ask who？你問我，我去問誰？

16.．If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one

要錢沒有。要命一條

17．I call Li old big. toyear 25.

我叫李老大，今年25。

18.you have two down son。

你有兩下子。

19. I give you face you dont wanna face,you lose you

face ,I turn my face

給你臉你不 要臉，你丟臉，我翻臉

People mountain and people sea. 人山人海

seven up eight down 七上八下

no three no four不三不四

morning three night four 朝三暮四

red face konw me紅顏知己

wang eight eggs 王八蛋

ten three point 十三點(diǎn)

no care three seven two ten one 不管三七二十一

play a big knife before Guan Gong 關(guān)公面前耍大刀

play an ax before Lu Ban 班門弄斧

Good good study,day day up! 好好學(xué)習(xí)，天天向上！

We are one home people. 我們是一家人。

Moon under old man 月下老人

Open the door see mountain開門見山

Five flowers eight doors五花八門

Twice—cooked Pork 回鍋肉

pen see you 鄙視你

four happy dumplines 四喜丸子

She is ve ry sex。她很性感。

6、You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind.

你也許已走出我的視線，但從未走出我的思念。

1．各位知不知道“讓廣州充滿愛”的官方翻譯？

—Let’s make love everywhere in ou(來自:m.91mayou.com 蒲公 英文 摘:幽默英文怎么說)r Guangzhou��！

2．知道外國人如何翻譯九陽神功么“nine men's power"

童子雞——chicken without sexual life（一只沒有性生活的雞）

沖靈劍法 GG and MM ’’ soul sword (GG和MM的靈魂之劍 ，聽起來好像很熟悉 )九陽神功 nine man’’s power (九個(gè)男子的力量)

九陰真經(jīng) nine woman’’story (九個(gè)女人的故事)

九陰白骨爪 nine woman catch a white bone (九個(gè)女人抓著一個(gè)白骨，)

You ask me, I ask who(你問我，我去問誰？)

I’ll give you some color to see see(我要給你點(diǎn)顏色看看)

7.某男，亦粗通英文，至使館，有表要填，有一欄是：Sex，該男思之久已，毅然下筆：“Once a week”。

簽證官觀后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.” 該男頓時(shí)赧顏，思之，填下“female”，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?”男急釋曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.

8.上初一的時(shí)候，英語老師讓我們讀課文，恰好是一段對話，于是叫了一男一女兩個(gè)同學(xué)來讀。

男：What time is it now?

女：It’s nine.

男：Let’s go to bed.

女：We go to bed at nine. 全班絕倒。

10．

02. 大師兄，你知道嗎？二師兄的肉現(xiàn)在比師傅的都貴了。

Tang Monk/Tang Priest, don’t you know piggy is more valuable than you? (The

Pilgrimage to the West)

03. 懷才就像懷孕，時(shí)間長了才能看出來。

Having knowledge likes having pregnant, it takes times to be awareness.

06. 媽媽說人最好不要錯(cuò)過兩樣?xùn)|西，最后一班回家的車和一個(gè)深愛你的人。 Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.

“地道中文”的搞笑英語翻譯(圖)

2.蘿卜青菜，各有所愛。

[誤] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage.

[正] Tastes differ。

注：Tastes differ/vary是句英語諺語，除此以外，原句還可翻譯成No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy 等。此外，我們還可以這樣說：One man's meat is another man's poison. 總之，應(yīng)采取意譯。

3.他一向嘴硬，從不認(rèn)錯(cuò)。

[誤] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault.

[正] He never says uncle.

注：say (cry) uncle: to give up or in; to surrender; to admit defeat. Mainly used by boys, as when fighting. 這句話主要是男孩們打架時(shí)的用語，當(dāng)一方想制服另一方時(shí)，就用命令的口氣說：“Say uncle!” 這時(shí)，有的孩子為了表示不服輸，就是不說。后來，say uncle 就成了“服輸”的代名詞，而not say uncle 就相當(dāng)于“嘴硬”了。

5.同學(xué)們都很討厭他，因?yàn)樗��?jīng)常拍老師的馬屁。

[誤] The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass.

[正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots.

注：以前在歐洲，臣民見到國王與王后往往要親吻他們的靴子。后來，人們將lick the boots 引申為“為了某種目的而討好某人”，它與漢語的“拍馬屁”含義一樣。在美國英語中，“拍馬屁”還有另一種說法，即polish the apple，源于以前的學(xué)生用擦亮的蘋果來討好老師。

6.你聽說了嗎？邁克把他的女朋友給甩了。

[誤] Have you ever heard that Mike broke up with his girlfriend?

[正] Have you ever heard that Mike dumped his girlfriend?

注：break up with sb. 雖然表示“與某人分手了”，但并沒說明是誰先提出來的。而dump 的原意指“傾倒垃圾”，用在這里則表示像倒垃圾一樣地甩掉。

8.人都是這山望著那山高，對自己的現(xiàn)狀沒有滿意的時(shí)候。

[誤] Almost all people think that the other mountain is higher than the one he's standing on. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.

[正] Almost all people think that the grass is greener on the other hill. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.

注：“這山望著那山高”是指人不滿足于現(xiàn)狀的心理，它在英語中已經(jīng)有了現(xiàn)成的說法，即the grass is greener on the other hill(他山的草更綠)，因此我們借用即可，這樣既方便又更有利于與西方人溝通。

《all men are brothers: blood of the leopard》--四海之內(nèi)皆兄弟：豹子的血（《水滸傳》，《水滸傳》有個(gè)英文譯名就是《四海之內(nèi)皆兄弟》）

《Romatic of Three Kingdoms》-- 三個(gè)王國的羅曼史（居然是《三國演義》

《once upon a time in china》--從前在中國（《黃飛鴻》，大而無邊）

《twin warriors》--孿生勇士（《太極張三豐》，張三豐是雙胞胎嗎？）

color of a hero 》--英雄的顏色（《英雄本色》的另一譯名，是不是李陽的學(xué)生譯的啊？--give you colors to see see-- 給你點(diǎn)顏色瞧瞧）

《third sister liu》--第三個(gè)姐姐劉（《劉三姐》，典型的不動(dòng)腦筋）

《farewell my concubine》（意思是：再見了，我的小老婆）。 《farewell my

concubine》可是《霸王別姬》的英文譯名啊。

「中國英文」（Chinese English）。 Chinglish“big river goes to the east，all the star follows beidou”，這句英文，稍微有點(diǎn)()基礎(chǔ)的網(wǎng)友就能直譯過來吧，大意就是：大河向東流，天上的星星參北斗。對的，就是直譯，再配上這位天才直譯作者銷魂的唱功，這首“洋氣十足”的《好漢歌》的英文版挾著天雷滾滾而來，基本上聽個(gè)開頭包君凌亂。

big river goes to the east，all the star follows beidou

大河向東流，天上的星星參北斗

最近在網(wǎng)上看到了幾個(gè)英文單詞，查了一下沒找到翻譯，后來拼音了一下才知道，中國的網(wǎng)絡(luò)語言真是強(qiáng)�。�

1、niubility 2、shability3、zhuangbility

例句：Many people think they are full of niubility, and like to play zhuangbility, which only reflect their shability.

1. 人山人海：有人直譯為：People mountain people sea.

這就是「中國英文」，老外很難理解。他們指「人多」時(shí)，通常只說：「There is a large crowd of people.」

2. 家家有本難念的經(jīng)：有人譯成：Every family cooking － pot has a black spot. (意思是：每個(gè)家庭的鍋?zhàn)佣加泻谏�的污點(diǎn))

Many families have skeletons in the closet. (許多家庭的衣柜里都有骨骸) (骨骸就是指家丑)Every family has its own problem.

3. 天下無不散的宴席：有人直譯為：There are no feasts in the world which do not break up at last.

All good things come to an end. (意思是：所有好的事情，總有結(jié)束的一天。)

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